Sorry I haven't posted all week. I was busy getting my boss ready to be Gene Simmons on Thursday night and I had a cold and sore throat which kept me home from work on Friday (with Austin who had a cough and runny nose). Today started out as a great day. I am finally down to 1lb below my prepreggo weight so I rewarded myself with a new purse (which was actually needed because my current purse is falling apart) so after G got back from watching our nephew play hockey (Austin was WAY to cranky to go), we headed to the mall.

On our way home later this afternoon, G ran into Future Shop to pick up a tax program and I waited in the car with Austin who was snoring away in the back seat. I tried to catch up with my friends by stalking FB on my cell phone and I came across a post saying that a Fertility Friend member's son had passed away during the week. He was 15 months old. I did not know this woman or her son because I am not part of that mommy group but I still feel for her. Her little boy had a congenital heart defect and from what I can gather his passing was somewhat unexpected. No parent should have to bury their child. My heart aches just thinking about it and I can't really express how I feel about her loss. I want to act in someway but I'm not sure what to do. How do you ever make that better for someone? 

Austin is the light in my world. His smile and slobbery kisses make every moment of my day worthwhile. Gordon and I would be lost without our boy. We can not even begin to think about a life that does not have him as part of it. He completes us, inspires us and teaches us to find the joy in the same things.

Tonight I held Austin extra close and said a prayer for Jasper. I pray that his family finds peace and that I take the time each day to be grateful for our gift and how lucky we are that we get to continue to watch Austin grow and the extra hugs and kisses that we get to have.

How lucky we are to have that chance....

Friday weight in...or not....

I didn’t step on the scale today. I was scared. The concept of a grown woman being scared of numbers is a bit odd. It’s just a number, it shouldn’t mean anything but to me it means everything. I haven’t been eating great because we’re in event mode and pizza and muffins have been my staples for the last three days.


I need some serious image help. Seriously, I see women who are way bigger than I am and I can’t help but think that I look like them. I still fit into regular clothes and a large top but still, I look in the mirror and I see a blob. I know it isn’t really what is being reflected, but I just can’t seem to see through it. I haven’t weighed this much (not pregnant) in close to ten years. It’s really hard to be back in this place. Some days I just take the easy way out and give up the good fight and other days I really focus on it and try to change everything all at once. Not working for me at this stage….

I hate falling off the wagon and getting back on. It’s a constant struggle and today I am struggling and not finding much resolve…

9th Annual IWK Radiothon on C100FM!

Today is the first of a three day take over of the airwaves by the IWK Foundation. As a new mom I understand how incredibly important this incredible Health Centre is. Austin was seen by Nutrition Services when he was just a few months old because he wasn't gaining any weight. He had dropped over a pound after he was born and it took almost a month for him to get back up to birth weight. The clinician that we saw was awesome and was so good with Austin (although the high tech scale at the IWK actually had Austin weighing less than his Dr's scale did....that was the not so good news). Anyway you all know now that my incredible little boy is beyond health, still he has made a couple of trips to the ER and as a parent it is really reassuring to know that this incredible place exisits.

I urge you to visit http://www.c100fm.com/ and listen to some of the incredible stories and, if you are able to do so give your gift to help the IWK.

Sleep...my old friend where are you?

I am exhausted. I mean I am brain numb; walking around in a haze; fell asleep during Mickey Mouse Clubhouse exhausted. Austin has been getting up at night and has not been cooperating much with going back to sleep so we end up taking him to bed with one of us while the other sleeps in the guest room. It just takes far to long for him to go to sleep at night. Seriously we're talking 45 minutes plus plus plus here!  Don't get me wrong, he still sleeps through the night the majority of the time but the nights he doesn't it's just not fun. The child loves to cuddle and that is probably our biggest problem with the night issue. We created this monster I know....but honestly who isn't going to cuddle their baby boy to sleep every chance they get? He is just so cute but I have to admit that he is starting be a big boy instead of my baby boy and the rocking to sleep is getting harder. New techniques are a must and I guess I'll be surfing the 'net and pulling out my trusty copy of "The Baby Book" this weekend to try to figure out what to do.

It doesn't help that I am still not 100% physically either. I didn't really realize how much surgery takes out of you. In hindsight I probably should have taken more time off work to recuperate. I just hope for a restful weekend because next week is a busy week at work and I am going to need all the energy that I can muster.

Sandman please come to my rescue! I am in desperate need!!!!

Finally! The scale moved!

So I wasn't going to weigh in this week. After stepping on the scale last week and seeing it jump 7lbs, I was so discouraged. I thought that this week wouldn't be much better considering all I had done was slept and sat around. Oh wait...yesterday I did do some cleaning and went to yoga last night (That was fun...let me tell you, it is not the time to go to yoga one week out from abdominal surgery when the class is focusing on core strength...I felt like I was going to pass out. I also felt kind of stupid because everyone around me was able to become a human pretzle and I spent half the class in child's pose and downward dog)

So this morning with much trepidation I stepped on the scale...Down 8lbs!!! I'm at the weight I was before Christmas and only 3lbs away from my Valentine's Day goal. I am going to need to work hard this week but I think I can do it!

Yeah me!

Baby bellies everywhere...

So the problem with being at home for a week is that I have had too much time to think. I made the mistake of allowing my husband to be in the room with me with the surgeon when he said not to go back to work until at least the 8th and not to lift anything heavier than 10lbs for a minimum of a week. G takes doctor's orders very seriously and thus I have actually been home from work for a week....watching A Baby Story.

So now I am kind of on the "when will we have another baby?" kick. Don't get me wrong I am perfectly content with Austin and spending every minute that I can with him is a complete joy. I know that he will make an amazing big brother and he really likes having another kids around so it isn't a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when?". Two of my friends are pregnant right now and I am living vicariously through their baby bellies. Laura is just absolutely glowing! Emily just had her baby back in December and I miss the new baby smell.

I know I need to lose the weight before I can get pregnant and I really think I can lose 50lbs by the summer. It's a matter of good health and setting a good example for Austin and faster recovery, all that jazz....but I really look forward to having a belly that isn't flab, but is baby fab!

First Haircut

Enought with my weight and my health issues...my little man got his first haircut on Sunday, January 31, 2010. Doesn't he look incredibly handsome?! He is growing up so fast...*sniff*

Minus an organ

It's been a while and I'm sorry about that. Last Tuesday I had another gallbladder attack (in the middle of the IWK Foundation Brand launch!) and ended up back in teh er. I have honestly NEVER felt pain like that before in my life. I ended up being admitted to the hospital and waited in the ER until Wednesday afternoon for a room on the surgical unit. I finally had my surgery  on Thursday morning and was allowed to go home Thursday night. I felt not too bad on Friday but Saturday I couldn't even move off the sofa. I just felt miserable. So far the pain pills make me sleepy but eating food is just horride. I'm still sticking with oatmeal and soup, everything else makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.

I hate not being able to pick up my little man or do things for myself...G takes doctor's orders VERY seriously!  So know that I am around, I am recovering, I just don't feel up to sitting at the pc for any length of time.