Early this morning my grandfather lost his battle with cancer.

The really sad thing is that I haven't had a relationship with him for the past 10 years. He missed so much of my life. He didn't see me graduate from high school or university, he missed seeing me walk down the aisle and he has never met my amazing little boy. There were many reasons why we became estranged and I'm not going to go into it here because somethings just don't need to be put out there for the world to read about.

All of those reasons aside, he is my dad's father. He brought many of the people that I care about most deeply into this world and for that he deserves my respect.

I have so many memories of spending time with Pop and going on adventures with him. I'm sorry that there have been so many memories that he isn't a part of but I can't do anything about that now. What I can do is go and pay my respects to the man that I choose to remember.

Pop used to take me to the farm to see where food comes from and on drives along the coast. After my grandparents divorced and Pop got his own house, I remember many a family dinner in his home. Pop was a great cook and I looked forward  to dinners at his place with much anticipation. He always had this enormous glass jar in his living room and it was filled with jumbo jelly beans. Mom and Dad would tell my brother and I that we couldn't have anymore, and Pop would sneak baggies of them in our pockets as we left. His house was always warm and he always had chocolate cake and chocolate chip cookies on hand anytime we were there. I have to say that it was one of the best chocolate cakes that I have ever had and it paired perfectly with a glass of ice cold milk. I'm sorry that I never learned how to make it from him.



Pop, I hope you have found peace.

Lessons learned when G works late

Gordon has had to put in some extra hours at work recently and last night was one of those “pick Austin up- bring Austin home-eat some leftovers for supper-back to the office” kind of evenings. I hadn’t anticipated that it would be much of a educational experience to be home in the evening with Austin, but in the end it was….


Three things I learned last night:

1) DO NOT BLINK! Don’t turn your head away from a toddler for one brief moment! Austin was colouring at his table, I answered the phone and was speaking to my sister in law when I turned my head back and my beige (almost white) chair was covered in magenta crayon!!! Austin was quite proud of his mater piece…Mommy was in shock. Naturally I was too shocked to give him a time out, and besides he just laughs at me when I try to be stern and runs around the main floor until I give up on trying to catch him anyway….
2) Spot Shot carpet cleaner takes magenta crayon out of beige (almost white) fabric…. (and its biodegradable cleaning solution- win/win)

3) The dishwasher repair man is my new best friend- the sad thing is that G almost had the dishwasher fixed a couple of weeks ago…all he had to do was unclog the pipe that connects to the faucet…oh well.. $69 dollars later I awoke to clean dishes and tonight I will finish the ones still in the sink (by putting them in the dishwasher of course!) Not really sure where my loathing of washing dishes came from, I certainly have no issues making dirty dishes but I would rather scrub floors than wash a dish…

Tonight I will be flying solo again and I have a small mountain of laundry and diapers to wash. I’m putting extra paper out on his play table and hoping that the Monkey doesn’t anything he shouldn’t.

I don’t have those eyes in the back of my head yet that every mother supposedly has…..any idea what I need to so to get those to come in?!

sentimental moment...

I haven’t been blogging lately. So much going on and by the time I put the monkey to bed I’m wiped! I need to write though. Someone asked me today if they could give someone an update on me and my family. I told them fine but they had to share the following: We’re fine. Austin is an amazing kid and that I am blessed to be me. I am happy and feel blessed to be me and to be living my life. I’m lucky and I know that. I try not to take anything for granted and am I thankful for what I have and for the people in my life.


And I am.

I have an amazing husband who loves me no matter what. I have an incredible little boy who lights up a room with his personality and is so smart it makes me wonder where his brains come from (“be just like Aunt Janice!”). My family is fantastic, supporting and a great source of strength. My friends (old and new) are incredible and “get” me. I don’t need to try to fit in or be someone else. I am just me and they accept that.

I am lucky and as people on Facebook are doing the 30 days of Thanks leading up to American Thanksgiving, I don’t think it is inappropriate for me to blog about it.

Don’t get me wrong, life is by no means perfect. We all have our ups and downs, our grays and our colours. I try to see the colour because the colour is what brings us happiness while the gray reminds us not to take the colour for granted and to appreciate the colour. And when a moment of gray comes, take comfort that colour will come too and draw strength and learn the lesson that the gray is there to teach you.

(J…want me to write that philosophy paper for you?…I seem to be on a roll!)

My Prayer

I do not wish for you to suffer


The choices that you made are yours to live with, to die with

I made peace with your place in my heart a long time ago

I love you for all of the wonderful memories that I have

I love you for brining my loved ones into this world

I learned hard lessons, the hard way at your hands

Now that the end is near I pray that peace finds those who seek it

I pray that family can come together and not be divided

I pray that you find comfort in God

I hope that you can find peace before you go

I do not wish for you to suffer

There has been enough suffering and pain to last a lifetime

It is time for it to end

Find peace…