It took us awhile but we finally got Austin to a Mooseheads game. I wan't really sure how the outing was going to go. Oz hadn't napped and G had been out helping his sister in the morning so I had him a little worked up (playdoh and hockey will do that to my kid!) I fed him some lunch, got him dressed and once G came home we jumped in the car and headed into the city. I think G and I were more excited than Austin. He didn't really understand until....

DE GOWIE!!!!

 Oz spent most of the game in awe. We were in the second row from the ice and had a great view! His jaw dropped and he cheered and shouted at the players. The biggest problem that we had was that between periods Austin wanted us to get his skates and hockey skates because according to him it was "Austin's turn to pway hockey". The statement was followed by tears before we were able to distract him with Hal or a game on the ice. He made fast friends with the ladies sitting in front of us. In fact one of them game him her bell so that he could cheer even louder!

Checking out the hockey mans with Daddy.

 We need to do this with him more. What a great memory and a great family afternoon. Nothing crazy, just fun times together. I love my family. I wish I had something deeper to say but really, it's pretty simple. I have an awesome husband, a great little boy and another baby on the way.  Life is good!

Catching up: First day of Spring

I'm behind, but I promise I will catch up! Not too long ago  it was the first day of Spring. It was a gorgeous day, G had to work, so Austin and I went adventuring!

Oz eagerly got into the stroller (I was so worried he'd fight it and want to walk on his own), I grabbed my camera and we were off.

Bird's nest (we scared away the birds when Oz called out to them)

Home from a walk with Mom!

Austin took this one....pretty good!

Here come the tulips!

This plant didn't even grow last year so I'm impressed!

I cannot wait for the spring weather to set in. We've had some chilly wind and snow since spring started. I just want to get outside!

4 more sleeps!

You'll notice that my blog has gone pink to the extreme... That is because in 4 days I will be participating in Bust A Move to raise funds for a world class breast health centre right here in Halifax.

I want to thank all of my friends and family who have helped me raise money for this very worthwhile cause. I am always impressed and humbled with your generosity. People think I'm a bit crazy for participating in this at 7 months pregnant but I really think that 6 hours of exercise is nothing. When I think about the battles the women and men who have breast cancer go through for their lives, it is the very least that I can do.

Sadly, we all know someone who has been touched by this terrible disease. The wife of a former coworker of G's found out she had breast cancer shortly after finding out she was pregnant with her first child. I can not even imagine the roller coaster that Cara and Simon rode...the incredible beautiful high of finding out that you have created life and that a baby will be joining the family, and then the blow of hearing that dreaded word..cancer. How do you wrap your mind around something like that? I can not even begin to put myself in their shoes. Thankfully their beautiful baby boy is doing so well and Cara is still in treatment.

Cancer has claimed more than its share of my family (my grandfather and my great uncles on my Dad's side) and has impacted more than one friend. I am glad to be doing something, anything, to help people dealing with cancer.

If you've been thinking about making a donation and haven't yet done so, I encourage you to visit my home page and donate online. Every penny counts. Gifts of $10 or more get you a tax receipt!

You can make a difference in the life of someone who needs you. Donate, participate, volunteer.

Post a comment and share a story of someone you know who has been touched by cancer. Inspire us all to do our part!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Thanks Kelly for snapping this pic!

And a very happy birthday to my awesome sister Janice! Hope that you have an awesome day!!

Bust a Move with Paula? Yup and I'm bustin' the Bump too!

Only 16 days to go before Bust a Move 2011!!! I can't wait to participate in this event. Yup....me and the Baby belly are going to join hundreds of other people in a six hour work out banaza to raise money to establish a world class breast health centre right here in Nova Scotia.

Last year I worked my butt off to raise $1000 in order to participate. I worked out 4 days a week leading up to the event and then, the weekend before, I had just about the worse gallbladder attack ever. I begged and pleased that it didn't need to come out right away and managed to persuade the over worked, overbooked surgeon to let me make an appointment to schedule the surgery. All was good. I was back on track to join my team mates at the event...until.....

I ate French Onion Soup.

Maybe it was to cheese, or the red wine in the broth but either way one hot, delicious bowl of cheesy, onion goodness later, I landed back in the ER Tuesday night, was minus one internal organ on Thursday morning and was forbidden from participating in Bust A Move on Saturday.

I was crushed. I really, really want to join in and so I signed up again this year....and then found out I was pregnant. I've talk to my doctor and she said I could do it as long as I took it easy. So I'm going to!

Below is a message from Paula...I'm so excited! STRAIGHT UP! I can't wait for the 26th!

Sunday

I love Sundays. We rarely make plans and try not to have to rush around anywhere. These pictures are from last and it was 1pm...lol.. did I mention Sunday is also a pj day?

Sundays are made for playing play doh and reading stories. Austin puts on his purse (otherwise known as an apron...don't ask me when apron turned to purse) and joins me in the kitchen. We make muffins, fruit salad and get supper ready. Oz loves to play at the sink and sing the washy washy song as water flies everywhere. And I don't care. It's water. The mess can be cleaned up, memories are more important!

Organic apple juice and playdoh!

Oz loves helping me cook

Today is Sunday and we've got another day of memory making ahead of us.

The whirlwind tour of Corner Brook

Corner Brook has the biggest Winter Carnival East of Quebec. And these people take Carnival seriously. One year the carnival torch was carried from Marble Mountain to Humber Gardens for the opening ceremony...only problem was that the weather was so bad that the torch kept blowing out and needed to be re-lit several times and visibility on the road was so poor that the Carnival Van hit the runner (Danny Kane) a few times before they finally arrived for the big show.

In 1998, I competed for the ultimate prize....the role of Winter Carnival Ambassador. For two weeks a slew of of local teenagers compete for the two top spots. One girl and one guy would have the honour of representing  the young people in Corner Brook. We build a snow sculpture, did some volunteer work, went curling (I spent more time on my arse than I did sweeping the rocks down the ice) and then we had a grand finale show where the winners were chosen. I was in complete disbelief when I won. I actually turned turned to one of the other girls and congratulated her! I thought she was a shoe in and I never imagined that I would actaully take home the title.

For two weeks I attended every Carnival event possible. We ate a ton of great food, danced, judged contests (seriously if I had to hear Ace of Base one more time at the lip sync contest I was going to lose my toutons!) and got locked out of my house at 3am one random night! The first day back to school after it was all over, I fell asleep in Chemistry class and I don't think my teacher was too impressed! The drawback was that I had to wear this crazy coat that, while festive and historic to the Carnival event, was not exactly my style...

Yup...the embarrassing coat fit over my bump and my mom made me wear it!



The point of that ramble is that this year is the 40th Anniversary of Carnival and they invited the past Ambassadors back to attend a reception to mark the occasion. My flight was suppose to leave at 11:30pm and didn't get off the ground until 1am. At 4am my sister and I crawled into bed and woke up in time to head to the spa. That evening I went to the event and it was great  fun! My cousin Laura was there and it was great to spend some time with her before we both headed to a bingo party...yup a bingo party!

Carnival Queen of '76, Ambassador '98 and 2000



Leif cutting the cake

So much fun being home!

More pictures and stories to come...

Our visitors from the West

A few weeks ago, our busy house got a little household got a little busier! In the early hours of February 13th, Gordon made two trips to the airport to pick up 1 university friend, 1 adorable baby boy, 1 man with giant hands and a chocolate lab. Yup Laura, John, Eli and Scotia came for the night!!!!

Austin and Eli had a great time playing and Scotia seemed to enjoy throwing his bone around the house. It was great to hang out with Laura and John. And of course I took too many pictures (although is there really such a thing?)

Dude, we were on a plane all night...I need a fix!

Who needs a real dog, I can pull this one around!

Our favorite Halifax pub!

humm...sweet potato fries with currie mayo or fried pep?

Banana.....I like food!

The face that matches the most annoying sound in the world!
Actually the sound was not annoying.. see for yourself:

It was awesome having little Eli around. I loved watching him try to stuff a full cracker in his mouth and laugh and giggle at Austin as he played with him. Austin love EI and had to hold him in his lap a few times. I was too busy freaking out about him dropping the little guy to snap a picture, so you'll just have to trust me that it was beyond cute! Austin is going to be a great big brother.

Valentine's Day Take 2

Getting in on the heart action!

Valentine's Day was a blast. Austin went to Kelly's and had a Vday celebration that included a party, decorate and eat a cupcake, a valentine's day lunch, and valentine's crafts. He had so much fun! He talked about it all evening. I took the day off to run around with Laura and John before they headed on to visit Laura's family and headed into the office for a meeting in the afternoon. When I got there my meeting had been cancelled but I arrived just in time to have a dozen roses delivered to me! G had sent them with a nice vase so that I could keep them at work to brighten up my office. So sweet!

My boss told me to head out and I was so excited to get to pick my little monkey up and spend some extra time with him! I know some people knock Valentine's Day but I think it's a blast. Now that Austin is in our lives, Valentine's day means something different. It isn't about the expensive dinner, the wine and exchanging gifts because the calendar says so. It's fun to decorate the house and get Austin excited to make crafts, eat pink smarties and heart shaped food.  We wore red clothes and red stories about caring about others. Sure G and I enjoy a nice dinner and I do miss my wine, but we really should be making an effort to spend more time together and not just because Hallmark says so.

Besides, what can compete with a family hug and raspberries on cheeks!

Playing catch up

No word of a lie.... my little guy is crying because G wants to sit down for a minute and not play hockey right away. Our son thinks we are the most awesome parents in the world, on Saturday we bought him a hockey net. It came with two hockey sticks and a ball too. I don't know what we were thinking...seriously he has wanted to play hockey with one of us 24 hours a day. Patrick, Adam and Tanner managed to keep him occupied with his new toy for a few hours to give us a break.

And I wonder why time out at the sitter's has become the penalty box....

I'm falling behind on my goal to blog 300 entries this year. I figured that I would need to write at least 25 posts per month...umm yeah.....We've had a lot going on and I will catch up, but right now I have a little boy to get clean and get to bed...and a book club selection to finish...

Week 23

So I feel huge...and I sill have 3.5 months to go. G took a picture but I forgot to upload it so I will have to do that later. Peanut is kicking up a storm! That in itself would not be a bad thing...except that it starts when I go to bed and ends around 5 am. There is the odd kick and roll during the day but nothing like the evenings. I really hope this doesn't mean that I'm going to have an "up all night" baby. I like my sleep so that could be interesting. Oz went down at 12, woke at 4 for food and went back down until 7 or so. There were a few nights where that wasn't the case but in general he wasn't that bad, until the 4 month sleep regression! lol

Austin had a fantastic Valentine's Day! Kelly hosted a Love Day party and he had a blast. I got to pick him up early and, after a failed haircut attempt, we spent some one on one time playing hockey and eating pizza before picking G up from work. Kelly managed to take a few snaps for us:

Decorating his very own cupcake

Crafting with Aislynn

Paint was too messy so markers it is!

It was nice to hang out a bit at Kelly's while Austin finished up his craft and played for a few minutes before heading home. On one hand I can't wait for the baby to come because I've made some great friends with other moms who will be up for playdates and coffee dates and trips to the park and beach. It's nice to feel relaxed around newer people and to see Austin so happy playing with his little friends.

Austin finally finished his Valentine's Monday evening and I got two packages ready for the mail. I hope his little friends in Texas and Alberta enjoy the surprise!

Valentine's Day

A couple of weekends ago, we started making valentines. They are still not done. Austin loves doing crafts but at home he gets distracted and never sits still for very long. I'm hoping that we will finish them up tomorrow. He has made up a special package for his friends Gator, Peanut and Achoo but Mommy is slack and didn't get it in the mail yet. His valentine from them arrived all the way from San Antonio, TX on Thursday. He was very excited to get mail just like Mommy and Daddy. (Jen I promise to get to the post office on Monday!)

Here's a peak at the crafting:

this is what we do at 6am on a Sunday.....

Very carefully placing the stickers

very focused...

The house is covered in red glittery hearts and, like the true nerd that I am, our meals have had red in them, or have been cut into heart shapes. Now if I could just get around to making a new header to match the Vday theme background I've got going on...

Let's Talk about mental illness

Mental illness is something that people don't want to talk about- not when it comes to themselves. It's something that happens to other people, but not to you, your family or your friends.

If you know me, then you know someone who has been touched by mental illness. I was so overwhelmed after the birth of my darling Austin and with all his weigh gain (or lack thereof) issues, I worried constantly. I second guessed my decisions, my actions and my instincts. I worried when he slept too long and when he didn't sleep long enough. I worried when he didn't eat or poop as often as the books said that he should.

When he was several months old, my anxiety went to a whole other level. I didn't feel like myself, I couldn't sleep and when I did sleep my dreams were very visual and usually involved catastrophe for my son and husband. While I talked to Gordon about all of what was going on in my head, I refused to speak to anyone else for fear that I would be labeled as crazy or that people would think I was a horrible person. I lied to G several times and told him that I had spoken to my doctor when in fact I hadn't.

Finally I did speak to my doctor. I didn't like breaking down into random tears and yelling at my husband for no reason at all. I am very grateful that my doctor listened and immediately helped me turn it all around. My anxiety is finally under control and has been for some time. I am very lucky because while I suffered from PPD I was still able to attach and bond with my son. Some women who suffer PPD are not as lucky.

Today every time you text and/or make a long distance call on the Bell network, BellAliant will donate 5 cents to mental health initiatives in Canada. To date they have committed $50 million over 5 years for toward mental health initiatives. That is an incredible commitment towards something people don't want to talk about.

So today talk. And read the blog post below from my former colleague Karen. You now know someone with mental illness. So now this is personal. Let's talk and support this important initiative.


Let’s Talk


February 9, 2011 by iwkfoundation

Karen Janigan is a senior communications officer with the IWK Foundation

Bell Canada is running an anti-stigma campaign with Olympic medalist Clara Hughes encouraging Canadians to talk about mental health and help eliminate its stigma. She talks about suffering from depression, and I am sure that her openness will guide others who may struggle with depression to get help and share their experience.

The communications giant has also committed $50 million over 5 years for toward mental health initiatives, and declared today (Feb 9) Let`s Talk Day. It will contribute five cents for every text message and long distance calls made by Bell and Bell Aliant customers today to mental health initiatives in Canada, and has provided a Let’s Talk portal at www.bell.ca/letstalk.

I would be surprised if at least one of the next five people you meet has not coped with either depression or its evil twin, anxiety. I am one of them.

In the 80`s I left journalism for a while and took a job as a business manager in a high definition company. I was way over my head! The combination of trying to learn and apply things at the same time, the aftermath of my last journalism job and – when I finally counted — about 15 cups of coffee a day – fuelled anxiety (and my perfectionism) and lead to a full-blown panic attack.

I was walking up crowded Yonge St. in Toronto to meet my new doctor, feeling invisible, sad, anxious and angry. I wanted someone to ask me for money so I could hit them, and I wanted someone to ask what was wrong, so I could break down. I had no idea why I felt so out of whack and strange. But I hated it.

My new doctor (did I mention she was from Halifax) was very perceptive and cancelled the scheduled physical (I was too jumpy to be touched) and talked to me, instead. She explained that it appeared that I was having a panic attack. It took more than that session to learn to get at the root of the anxiety, but it came with therapy. And way less coffee.

At the time, I was incredibly embarrassed about needing help, now I am pretty open about it. I think this openness meant I was able to persuade another who had a panic attack in front of me to seek some help. In turn, he shared his experience with friends and colleagues who seemed to be overwhelmed and angry, lessening the stigma for them to get help.

Talking does break down stigma. We have a long way to go, but at least we are moving in the right direction. So let`s talk.

Winter

We got slammed with snow again last night. It took an hour and a half for Natalie and I to get to work this morning. Where was all this snow when I was desperate for snow to make my spirit bright for Christmas! Poor G was out clearing snow at 5:30am (he won't let me do it and I was just as happy not to at that hour!)

Austin just wanted to get outside and play in the fluffy white stuff this morning. He pulled his boots on over his hockey jammies and tried to escape out the front door as I was trying to get in the shower. I managed to lure him upstairs and then closed the baby gate at the top of the stairs (he hasn't figured out how to open it...yet). It was nice to play and chat with him this morning. Usually he is so groggy and not wanting to get up so I love the mornings that he is up and at 'em with a good spirit. Now let's just hope he keeps those spirits up for Kelly today!

 

Here's what this morning's snow looked like (pictures were taken on my phone so pardon the quality):

And a few winter pictures that I had to share:

Why can't I have those eyelashes?

Daddy and his boy

Never without his truck

Schools are closed and roads are slippery. Stay home and enjoy this winter wonderland. I'm sure the kiddies will!

A T. Rex named Sue and a reminder that boys are quick.

On the last Sunday of January, the day after the call that started my emotional roller coaster for the week, we decided that our little family needed some positive excitement and an adventure. We called friends and packed Oz up and headed into Halifax. After running some errands (when the toddler falls asleep in the car take full advantage to get things done!) that included a stop to my bakery heaven, Bulk Barn.

We landed downtown Halifax at the Museum of Natural History and joined the long line of people and children eager to reach the inside of the building. The air was chilly but the excitement and anticipation in the air was electrifying. We were all there for the same thing, to see Sue. A T.Rex that had come to town. You may recognize Sue from the Night at the Museum movie. She's the dino from the Smithsonian. We got the replica but that didn't matter to the boys!

The boys were immediately in awe and taken with this real life sized dino: 

The dinodor is coming Mommy!

We needed two pictures to get her full profile.



After spending quite a bit of time looking at Sue and playing with displays, puzzles and bees, we moved on to the rest of the museum's exhibits. Oz and Gray played with the bones in the Mammals and Marine Animals display. Austin was fascinated with how the bones came apart and that he could control where they went.

"Wook Mommy! I fix him."

Attention spans being what they are in toddler boys, they quickly moved on to being fascinated with the "no-touch-touch-tank" Seriously, you have an open tank of water with sea creatures just begging for little hands to scoop up and examine the wonders in the water and you have said tank at touching level and you go and put a Do Not Touch sign on it? Obviously that person has never had a little boy......

We moved on to the wonders of birds, fishes and puffins before heading out. Austin and Gray ran off and for one brief second I was reminded that my heart walks around on the outside of my body. I couldn't find the boys anywhere! They were looking at the bird display just around the corner. It was a relief to find them, give them a quick scolding about running off without Mommy or Daddy, kiss their little heads and move on.

Our friends had to go on to a dinner so we parted ways and took Austin back to see Sue "Just one more time!". The crowd was thick so naturally Oz managed to wiggle out of my grasp. For 30 heart stopping seconds I could not find him. He wasn't answering my calls for his name. I'm starting to be a hormonal mess, when a little old lady says "Dear? I think he is right here." pointing at the visual display. Sure enough, there was Austin up in a total strangers arms looking through a view finder. Not sure how the stranger managed to lift him, she was a sweet little old lady too. I thanked them for finding him and informed G that it was time to go. But not before a visit to Gus.....because who can resist : "Just one more time?"

The Buzz: Robbie Shaw

Robbie Shaw has been an incredible influence in my life over the past 5 years. I am very grateful that our paths crossed and that I had the opportunity to work with him closely. Here are some pictures from a fantastic tribute event that I had the honour of attending last Monday evening.

The Buzz: Robbie Shaw: "It was a great evening for an even greater man. Robbie Shaw is leaving the IWK Foundation and his satff and friends put on an amazing tribut..."

22 weeks

I started this post last Saturday so bear with the use of verb tense.....

Today was one of those days. It started out fine. G had spent most of the night out with Austin. For some reason our child has refused to sleep through the night this whole past week. It's driving us crazy, but the upside was that I got a bed to myself last night. It was much needed because I haven't been sleeping well lately.  When I woke up, I went downstairs and enjoyed the quite. Half an hour later I heard the stomping of little feet.  Austin started out the morning whining like crazy but after a breakfast of Santa pancakes and fruit he was ready to go.

G had to go to a meeting so Austin was helping me clean upstairs. He was using the swiffer to "paint" the floor. Of course cleaning took much longer than normal because it was interrupted by a game of hide and seek, three or four stories, two trips to the potty and songs and who could refuse "Just one more time Mommy" from a jammied boy on a Saturday morning?

Then around 1:00pm my day started to fall apart. Austin refused to nap. I tried every trick I had before giving up and calling G up from the basement to take over. I was just out of a relaxing shower when the phone rang. My doctor called me...on a Saturday. My doc is going on sabbatical next month and called to  follow up on my ultrasound. There is a bright spot in the baby's heart. The good news is that the baby's heart is structurally sound. It's probably nothing, but it could be something and I'm nervous. The bad news is that is a soft marker for DS.

I spent all week agonizing about what was going to be. I wasn't concerned about having a child with down syndrome. That is something that if God so chose, G and I would take on willingly. I was more stressed about being prepared and making sure others in our village were prepared. I wanted to know if we were going to Holland or Italy. I don't like surprises.

I kept the news to a small circle who kept me sane all week. Friday finally came and G and I went to the IWK for the ultrasound with my incredible doctor. She took all the baby's measurements. She took her time and looked over every inch of our little peanut. I am so very happy to say that Peanut's heart looks fabulous and she didn't find any defects. (That is music to a mother's ears!) There is a calcium deposit in the heart but it's nothing to be concerned about. She also didn't find any other markers for DS. Of course there is still a chance that Peanut could be born with downs, but its 1 in 15,000. The icing on the cake was that we got to walk away with this:

Peanut Boutilier 22w5days

heading to a "fancy dancy" (22Weeks)

Snow!

Sometime between noon and over night yesterday, we got 45cm of snow. That equalled four trips outside to shovel for G, an early day home for me and a whole lot of snow fun for Austin! The snow was so beautiful, light and fluffy and it just put me in the mood to curl up with my favorite Christmas CD and a cup of tea and watch it fall...

Too bad that isn't what I did! A pot of soup, a clean kitchen and two loads of laundry later, my boys came home from work and Kelly's. After supper we all curled up and snuggled on the sofa and watched UP. Austin loved it. I have to say that I really enjoy it too. I love the beginning and, even if I wasn't pregnant, I cried at the montage of Carl and Ellie's life together.  Austin liked the balloons and the floating house...oh and the talking dog!

This is what 45cm looks like in our front yard....

The 3ft bush in our front yard

Somewhere under here is a lilac tree

Austin thinking the driveway was a skating rink

So tonight I'm sure we will shovel a little more. Tomorrow I am off and can't wait to spend it with my little man. Should be a lot of fun out in the backyard!

Change Bandits- Bring your little looters on down!

Don't let life pass you by...

http://www.theyearsareshort.com/

Great little video (not too long so take a minute to watch).

Yesterday we took Austin to see A T. Rex named Sue. He was absolutely fascinated. I can't wait to take him back. Those are the moments that need to be remembered and cherished. His exclaims of "OH MY GOD!!!! WOOK MOMMY WOOK!" His eyes were as wide as saucers and I swear his little head was spinning. I'll post pictures tomorrow. But what a great adventure to share with our little boy.