This is the first of the quiet weekends.

We've just finished 6 months of 6am Saturday practies and 1 or 2 games a weekend. The goalie gear has been dried cleaned and put away. I don't know if he'll be playing nets again next year. After the teams were picked, the shortage of players in our age group was apparant. We had 12 players and no goalie. There were only 2 goalies between the 4 teams. After some discussion about what we might do, my sweet boy told his dad "Tell Coach Mike I'll play in nets. I'll do that for our team."

My heart melted and at the same time I began to fill with anxiety. You see, my boy started novice as a forward, moved into goalie his second year and fell in love with it. But throughout the second half of his second season in nets, he took every loss personally. If a goal got passed him, his confidence would take a dip. At the end of that year he announced to his coach, in front of his whole team no less, that he wasn't sure he wanted to play hockey again. He most definietly wasn't going to get between the pipes.

Last year was a rebuilding year. Gordon and I did a great deal of minset work with our boy. We built his confidence back up. I found it was easier to watch the games with my boy on defense instead on in the net. It was not nearly as stressful! Being a Goalie Mom is not for the faint of heart! By the end of the season he was loving hockey again and there was not one mention, request or longing to return to the lonely end of the rink.

So you can understand why his eagerness to step up for the team caught me off guard and made my inner mama bear nervous. We had some good chats and he insisted. So I spoke with teh coach. I made it very clear that I would pull him from nets if we thought his self esteem was being negatively impacted and our awesome coach agreed and we came up with a plan to support our goalie.

We started the year strong, but struggled the second half. We had a string of loses, and while Ozzy would get emotional or be disappointed with the loss, he continued to show up strong and confident for his team. Coach counted on him as a leader and he even awarded Ozzy the honour of Assistant
Captain.

It has been an outstanding year in so many respects. Our little team with 12 players earned a spot in the Top division, we beat our two riva teams when it really mattered and earned ourselves a spot in teh semi-finals. That last game was one of their very best of the season! The other team scored one goal, and only because the puck bounced off of his stick and squeeked in over his shoulder. There was no way he could stop it. Our boys fired shot after shot but the other team's goalie was as hot as Oz and we werent able to tie it up.

Which brings us back to this quiet weekend. 

It's still busy, as the team manager I have financial reports to get done, the team party to organize and team gifts to make. One thing I am doing first though is taking a few minutes to say thank you to all the people who helped us have an incredible year. I truly believe that being grateful and expression my appreciation for others is very important. I'm no Emily Post but if someone has gone out of their way to help others, I think that should be recognized. There are so many volunteers behind the scenes that help the players, coaches, managers, families and the community.  Plus I have to say my #hockeymomtribe was the best. At the very least they deserve to be recognized for their contribution. It feels good to fill other people's cup.

As much as I love handwritten thank you notes, I am really struggling with time and I didn't have everyone's mailing address. I don't have any cute papercards on hand and my budget is a little tight so buying the really nice ones wouldn't be a splurge I could do this week. An email seemed plain and too work like. I had an account at www.paperlesspost.com and had recieved some credits to try out the site. I scrolled through until I found just the right designs for each of my notes!  I turned a Christmas card into a perfect Hockey Mom thank you and found a cute New Yorker design for a fun note to a friend. 

Paperlesspost app

I love that I can send a thank you card but save paper and postage! When it comes to mailing things I'm not always on top of that (I have been know to send a birthday card a few weeks late, not on purpose just because getting to the post office to get stamps is not something i think to do) so I KNOW I got my thank yous out much quicker than I would have if I hand wrote them and the cost of each card was less than a paper card as well. The site also has some free designs that are really cute. I will definitely be topping up my account when my credits run out.

I guess I'll finish these thank yous much faster than I thought and can move on to some other to dos that I haven't gotten to in the past 6 months, like cleaning my house lol.

When the phone rings

I struggle to understand how everything could seem so wonderful and happy only to have my heart utterly shattered completely out of the blue and putting it back together is a very slow and painful process.

June 1, 2018 started like any other day. I got up, packed lunches, morning scramble out the door, dropped kids off with hugs and kisses and wishes to have a great day and then I drove to work. Turned my computer on and did my tasks, the day exactly like the day before it. My phone on silent but face up on my desk in case the school called. Every day my phone sits face up on my desk. On June 1, it rang. My friend called.

My friend called.

She did not text, she called.

My heart sank and I knew.

I picked it up and she said his name and I knew. The sound of her voice and the weight of her words still sit on my heart. Every moment of that conversation sits on my heart.

Her sweet, amazing Noah had passed away unexpectedly in the night. I don't know how long we spoke. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that we sat in silence because there are just no words that can make a mother, a friend, feel anything other than grief and disbelief.

I still can't wrap my head around how suddenly life changed. He had been here at our house not even a week before playing with our kids, playing in our yard, sliding down the playhouse slide and making funny faces in our traditional couch picture.  We had talked about their next trip, hugged and kissed and loved and laughed. The very last thing that would ever have crossed my mind was that this would be his last visit to our home.

Noah was an amazing little boy with CHARGE syndrome. Laura and John were his advocates and did so much to ensure that he had the best life and helped educate others about their special boy and the CHARGE community.

In the days, weeks, month since Noah has been honored by his family, his school and his community. The people who surrounded my friends and their children with love and generosity in the days immediately following the call restores my faith in the good of the world.

Telling my children that their friend had gone to be with Jesus was hard. Walking through the weeks before my trip to visit them was hard, because while every fiber of my being wanted to jump on a plane that evening, I knew that when the family and friends cleared out after the service my friend would need space and then she would need me. The blessing of having friends for decades is that you know them well and sometimes you just know what the other needs.

Getting to the other side of the country was more stressful than it needed to be. Broken planes, delays, terminal changes- my anxiety grew but I made it.  Holding myself together to be strong for them was hard. I landed and spent four love and grief filled days being called "Hey you girl!" and "Wisa" by some of my favorite tiny humans. We had a birthday party and dance parties, nap times and silent understanding, tears, hugs and laughter. What was not hard was being with her, with them. The hard is found in the weight of how their life had changed forever and that I could do so very little to carry that burden for them. The hard is knowing I can't fix it, change it or even make a small dent in healing them.

For months I have checked on my littles in their sleep. This is so ridiculous to a rational mind but anxiety is never rational. My anxiety about their safety has gone up. Dealing with the irrational fear that something could happen to my babies and with the internal guilt of not being able to be with my friends, not being able to just bring their sweet boy back and make it better has been like sacks of sand on my shoulders. I have struggled with what to share on social media because I question if my words are coming out "right".

In reality nothing will ever be as hard as what they are walking through each and every day.

If you know a family walking through grief know that you can never fix it. What you can do is be kind.

1. Fill their freezer with food (easy, ready to reheat meals)
2. Clean their home or send a gift card for a service. 
3. Offer to take their children to the park or offer to stay with them so parents can get out. 
4. Be there when they need you. 
5. Let them know they are loved and never, ever forget about their child. Remember them, share the pictures that you have of them, make a plan to honor them. 

This is not the post I sat down to write but this is what poured out of my heart. Noah we loved you so much and we're trying our best to watch over your people from a far. We love you all so much. 

You're going to Disney!!! (Now what?!)

Congratulations! You've made the decision to dive full on into the craziness and plan a trip to Disney. Or maybe you just want to know about my full fledged plunge into an entire world I had no idea existed- the Disney planner people.

The day I clicked purchase on our Disney park tickets was awesome! I felt pure elation because we were finally taking our kids to Disney and some of my family was coming with us! I reveled in that joy and elation. I sent a picture of the screen to G, my mom,  my sister and a couple of others. Not going to lie...I shed a tear. Those of you who know me well know that one of my more endearing qualities is the ability to cry through every range of emotion. So I sat in my office chair on my lunch break and cried tears of joy that I was making this dream come true, that we had worked hard at my design business and were paying cash to make this dream come true.

And then the panic hit. Where do I even start? Oh, and we were keeping this top secret from my kids just for an added layer of excitement and to complicate the planning process just a little.

Trust me, planning a trip to Disney can go so many ways. You can just book the whole thing online and wing it or you can plan the shit out of each and every day. I'm happy to say I rescued myself from going full on into Disney over plan mode and we ended up being an almost perfectly planned trip for our family.

(FYI- the perfect trip involves a lot of Mickey Bars)

Doesn't matter if you plan to keep the trip a secret from your kids like we did or if you plan to fully engage them in trip prep. The VERY FIRST think you need to do is-

1. Book Your Trip

I was making arrangements for 8 people so we used a travel agent to help us with the travel and accommodation logistics. I am so grateful that we went that route. Sure I could have done all of that myself- but I'm not a travel expert so I was happy to have the help. Debbie got us a great travel package with Sunwing that included flights, rental home in a gated community and rental cars for a very reasonable price. We decided not to stay on property because there were so many of us and because we knew the parks would be very busy when we would be there which meant higher prices and no solitude. Our house had a pool and Jacuzzi and was located on a quiet street. It was really relaxing to be able to find some quiet at the end of each day. I'm not sure my anxiety would have been quiet so well managed had we not had that retreat away from all the people and the excitement of the parks.

Do you know how many Disney trip planning sites, blogs and Facebook groups there are out there? Hundreds! It is so easy to get overwhelmed (like I did) and just walk away with the thought "Frig it! I'll show up and see what happens!" Please don't do that...you'll spend your whole day in a line and not get to enjoy anything.

Fans everywhere! Great for cooling down when you have to wait in a line...

So dear reader, this brings me to step 2-

2. Talk to your friends who have been there

Luckily I have a few friends who have been to the parks. I discovered completely by accident that someone I've known for many years is a full on Disney fanatic (he hid his Disney infatuation well lol) Next thing I knew I had a full list of websites, podcasts and logistical information. I've reduced the list to the ones I found most helpful:

The Mouse for Less- This site has a ton of Disney news and info about the parks. We were going at Easter and I was able to find good info about what was happening in the parks over the holidays here. I was also added to the Facebook group and got quick answers to my questions from them.

Dad's Guide to Walt Disney World- Crowd calendar here was really useful and he had some good tips for planning fastpass and enjoying the trip.

Disney in Your Day- Becky's Disney blog is a fun read. Disney info, food reviews and park news.

Now, to be fair, I read way more than 3 blogs. I filled a Pinterest board with links and ideas. I overwhelmed myself with information. Friends, don't do that to yourself. Find a couple of resources that you like and stick with them. Most of them share the same info with just a slightly different perspective. You have to decide what type of vacation you want to have and what will work for your family.

Smiles, fun, adventure, laughs- basics covered!

Talk to your vacation friends and decide-

3. Decide what kind of Disney experience you want to have

Travelling with 8 people who all have different crowd tolerance levels made planning a little bit of a challenge. Especially for a gal who gave everyone in my life an itinerary broken down in to 15 minute increments for my wedding day. The more I read and the more I looked at the crowd calendars, the more I can to terms with a strict schedule was not going to fly in my post baby life. I opted for a more relaxed plan of attack- Pick three things to do, pick one direction to move around the parks and enjoy every moment.

This sounds pretty simple. You can pre-book 3 FastPasses, so my plan was space the passes out, start at the first one and then head towards the second. There proved to be a few flaws with the plan in a park or two but I'll get in to that later. As an overall strategy it worked really well. Those flaws resulted from failure to do the next step-

4. Book your dining!!! 

You've booked your vacation? Awesome! Now look at the calendar, count back 180 days and set an alarm. Go do it now...I'll wait...got it done? Great now when that alarm goes off you will log in to My Disney Experience and BOOK YOUR DINING. By the time I figured out what parks we would be in on what days, EVERYTHING was booked. It was also Easter, and US spring break so reserved dining was very difficult to come by. You will need a break. A sit down lunch would have been a great break in each park.

Why hello footlong hot dog that fed two!

5. Book your Fast Passes

Seems easy enough right? Nope! This is a game of strategy and if you aren't staying on resort you only get to book your passes 30 days out from your visit. Oh and did I mention that you'll need to do this multiple days in a row. Again set your alarm for 7am EST 30 days before your first park day. Log in and see what's available and then get what you can get. I have to say we were pretty lucky as I was booking passes for 8 people and I got most of the attractions we wanted to do together. The beauty of this is that if you don't get the time you'd really like for an attraction you can always rope drop (get to the park before opening) and head to that attraction first, release your fast pass while in line and book something else.  People change their plans so passes can open up last minute.We did this for the Safari at Animal Kingdom, released the afternoon pass and my sister and brother in law were able to get on another ride they wanted to do later in the day.

The Safari first thing in the morning was awesome! 

So those are the basic 5 things that I found really helpful in planning our trip.  I know you want more details and pictures, they are coming!

It all started with a mouse...

Actually I think it all started at the Disney Store that used to be in Mic Mac Mall.

I was shopping with my sweet little 18 month old Oz and we wandered into the Disney store. There was an enormous display of stuffed toys at the front of the store and before I knew it, my sweet boy had Buzz Lightyear grasped firmly in one hand and Sheriff Woody solidly connected to the other. I can't recall what I was looking for in the store that day, but I can still clearly see in my memory my little boy's face as he talked to 'Uzz and 'Oddy and ignored the rest of the toys around him. I had no intentions of buying any new toys that day, in fact I'm pretty sure my budget didn't have room for me to spend any extra money. When it was time to leave the store, I looked at my boy and he looked at me with hope and joy in his eyes, and I immediately got in the lineup to buy the toys.

We walked out of the store with Oz squeezing his two new best friends under one arm while his little hand was wrapped my fingers. His smile was so wide and my heart was so full. It still fills my heart when I remember every detail firmly implanted in my brain and my heart of that experience. And Buzz and Woody went everywhere with our family for many years.   When Oz was little Mickey Mouse Club house and Cars were also part of the heavy Disney rotation in our home. His 2nd birthday was a Mickey Mouse party and I often wondered if the day's Mystery Mouseketool could be wine for me. Toy Story, Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3 have been watched a million times over in our home. And you had better believe when little sister joined the crew, she received a Jessie and Bullseye from her big brother.

Amelia, like many little girls, loved the princesses. More specifically, she loves Cinderella. She loves the movie, she loves her doll, she loves dressing up and pretending to be 'Ellerella. At her 2nd birthday party, the first toy she opened was a Lego Cinderella with carriage and horse. She wouldn't open anything else and insisted that we open the toy, build it and from there she ignored everyone and everything else to play with her beloved 'Ellerella. A dream is a wish your heart makes was sung every night as part of her bedtime routine, to this day when she needs a little extra comfort at bedtime she'll ask for it and I've often caught her singing it to her dollies over the years .

The year she turned 3, she requested to be Cinderella and I found the best costume at Costco, complete with wig, tiara and Fairy Godmother wand. I'd love to say I was Fairy Godmother, but let's face it, I was a hot mess at the time and was lucky to get her costume pinned up and tied up (it was about four sizes too big for her) before heading out to trick or treat. I remember all of that in detail. Especially the smile on her face as she twirled around and proclaimed to everyone who would glace her way that she was 'Ellerella.

Those displays of sheer joy from my two kids created a desire to give them more of that. I don't mean to give them more material items, that isn't to say we don't have our fair share of Disney princess dress up, barbies, stuffies, CARS toys, clothes, slippers- you name it. I wanted them to feel that happiness and to have more memories to store in their hearts to call on. I've had a few dark days in my time and I am acutely aware of the need to have a dream and to have joyful memories to help pull you through. 

It has always been my dream to take my kids to Disney. I have written down my dreams and goals many times over the years, and a number of them change and evolve overtime, but taking the kids to Disney has always stayed on the list. This year we finally made that wish come true.

This post has gotten a little long. I can clearly see that I'm going to have to split this up into many posts. I felt that it was important that you know where the dream started, so you can understand why I approached planning for the trip the way I did, why I made all the Disney extras (tutorials will be included!) and why it was so important to me to make this happen.

So it really  all started with Buzz, Woody, Cinderella and a dream.

Planning, perfection and being purposeful

I can make a plan like nobody's business, and I know it drives other people nuts. I love a plan. I love lists and tasks and I carry my planner with me practically everywhere I go. Writing things in my planner makes me feel like I'm being purposeful in how I spend my time.

There is something about the brain dump that comes when I write things down. I tried using google calendar, Cozi and a few other apps to keep everything easily accessible and easily shareable but it just wasn't working. My brain still felt like it was swimming all the time. A few years ago I ordered an Erin Condren LifePlanner * based on a recommendation from a friend and I loved it! It's a bit more expensive because of the Canadian exchange rate, the shipping and the duties I seem to end up always paying since the dollar took a tumble a couple of years ago- but I haven't found one I like as much and, frankly, if I'm going to use something every single day I had better love it.


I use my planner to keep track of all the kids activities, my design business, my coaching and fitness programs. I like to make it look pretty and I keep all my reminders there- and still I don't have all my shit together.

I  was having a great chat with a friend the other night and I was admiring her dedication to getting to the gym every day and that I just couldn't seem to get my shit together to get back into it. She remarked that I was the most organized person that she knows and I told her it's all an illusion. Okay maybe not all of it. On one hand I feel super organized, I've got my budget, schedule and to do's in one place. On paper I am perfectly organized and moving forward. Real life is often another story.

Sure I've gotten much better at being on time, no one has missed an activity yet and orders and business tasks are done on time. Having a party? those boxes all get checked and things usually go off really well even if I have to take a few short cuts or prioritize and drop things off the lists. My house is clean because I have a husband who keeps on top of it and we have someone come in every 2 weeks to get to the nitty gritty that I never have time to do (It's heaven and WAY cheaper than a divorce) and my stress level goes way down after I get everything down on paper. We even manage our monthly budget and keep track of upcoming household expenses that we need to plan for in my planner.

My real challenge is in following through when the goal/task is focused on me or something I want. How many of you can relate to that? It's all about what our children need or what others need and there is very little fuel left in the tank after those obligations are met. I've lost track of how many times I have written that I'm turning a new leaf and putting myself first. I preach about self care and  I have this mental block that comes into play whenever I start to focus on me. I've always had this nagging voice in the head that holds me back, whose fear of failure keeps me from pushing past my comfort zone, I get out of it for awhile but then when I start to see real progress and things start to get uncomfortable instead of propelling me forward fear takes hold and I start to slip into old habits. It's sad really, I know what I need to do, I can help others get there but getting myself there is taking time. I need to stop getting in my own way.

I did a vision board webinar this week and I have plans to sit down this week and actually make a vision board. I need to take action and drastically improve my time management in order to finish projects for me (hello- Christmas quilt of 2015- I'm coming for you).

One other thing I'm going to accomplish this weekend is finishing my office area organization. I dare you to find a crafter who's office didn't look like the pre-IKEA white boxes image right after the Christmas rush. I got it 90% there the first weekend of January- it still sits unfinished because I've had other stuff to do- a hockey tournament, orders, school stuff for the kids. No more excuses! I'll get it done and show you the proof next week!

Wish me luck!

*if you use my referral link to make a purchase from Erin Condren, I receive a $10 referral bonus*

Moving forward in 2018

I'm thrilled that I have given the blog a new look! I hope you like it as much as I do. I still have some setting up to do but this is a very busy time of year for me and I decided to stop putting off posting until... until the blog is perfect, until I'm not busy, until I know exactly what to say. I kept putting off our family photos until I lost weight, but I came to the decision that that was stupid so I booked them and I was so so happy with them! So hey if family pictures can turn out without things being perfect, maybe writing again would be okay too.

I'm starting 2018 with a refreshed list of "to dos". I do have goals and those are more specific and measurable and I'll share those at another time. My intentions will remind me to keep moving forward to continue to embrace change and be mindful to live my best life, not the best life everyone else wants to live. We've got some big things coming in 2018 but it's the little things that make each day better.



I've been inspired by Kelle Hampton's categories for my own list- to help keep it more organized :)

Be Present- Make ever day count
Take a technology break- (I'm going to buy an alarm clock and keep my phone away from my bedside too!)
Read and play classic games with our kids

Do a 5 minute meditation
Read a book every month and highlight something meaningful
Write hand-written letters and notes to family/friends who live away

Be Healthy and ActiveCarry a water bottle, keep it full and drink it frequently
Workout 5 times per week (Hubby and I are starting with T25 and I want to do 80 Day Obsession)
Say “No” to sugarGo for a run with the familyLead the kids in a fun workout with musicYoga/stretch sessionGo for a bike ride with the familyTake kids to tennis courts (seriously it's down the street- I have no excuse!)

Be Social
Do an “I’ll bring you dinner some night/you bring me dinner some night” swap
Have a family over for dinner
Reach out to someone new
Organize a book club (even if it’s just for one book)

Be Creative
Art afternoons with kids and display the finished products
Make an inspiration board
Write more! This blog needs some love and attention :)
Find new family activities that involve getting creative
Finish the Christmas quilt (started 2 Christmases ago...)

Feather the Nest
Rearrange a room
Make the bedroom a retreat
Organize the office and make the basement cozier
Finish the rooms- pull together the finishing touches that I keep putting off)
Buy fresh flowers and arrange small bouquets around the house

Be a Learner
Read a new non-fiction book
Sign up for an online course
Watch a TED talk
Find a new informative podcast

Be Responsible
Clean out e-mail box
Unsubscribe to e-mail lists I don't love (I've already cleared out 15 newsletters and it feels so good to free my inbox!)
Sit down with G weekly to check in on our budget and calendar so we can reach our goals quicker
Cross off two to-do’s from my procrastination list 

Have Fun!Have fun whenever possible, don't take everything so seriously!
Take a vacation
Try a new hairstyle

I'll revisit this list throughout the year, not only to keep you up to date but also to keep me accountable to moving forward. 

Make every day count

"A lot of people think, 'oh, someday my path will start.'

But whatever's happening in this moment IS the path."- Marianne Williamson

I have always believed that people come into your life at a certain time or you are placed in a person's life at a certain time for a reason. I don't believe things are all mapped out, there is a certain balance of chaos but it's what you choose to do when you are in the moment that changes your course. Do you choose to make the moment count or do you choose to let the moment pass? Either choice will effect the outcome of your life.

Last year my daughter started school and has been blessed with the most wonderful friends. She would ask me to have play dates with one little girl in particular and I kept saying yes but then not sending a note to get the contact information. It wasn't on purpose, like many moms I just was busy and kept forgetting. In January of this year she was invited to this little girl's birthday party so I finally had the info! ! I met Clara's mom Vanessa and was instantly drawn into her warm smile and enthusiastic greeting. We chatted for a minute about the girls asking for a play date and it was finally nice to put a face to the little girl who's name peppered stories in each of our homes since the beginning of the school year. The party was at a busy indoor play space and other kids were arriving so we did the customary smile, said we'd chat in a bit and moved focus to our daughters. Vanessa greeting everyone with this incredible warmth  and the girls running off down the stairs to the play space.

There was a moment when a mutual friend who was at the party shared something with me and in that moment I made a choice. And I am forever better because of it.

That day changed many things for us. The girls have their play dates and Clara was the first of Amelia's friends to come for a sleepover. They joke that they are sisters and always ask to stay longer when it's time to head home. We've gotten to know Vanessa  and Jake. Jake has taught me what true grace under pressure, strength and courage look like.Vanessa shared her light with me and has taught me so much about resilience, strength, determination, love and courage. Her mantra was "Make every day count" and she really did.  She smiled through her pain, made every memory possible and brought positive energy to every situation.

11 month has passed since we first met. And it's so unfair that we don't get to have more time.

On November 6th, 2017, cancer took her, despite her incredible fight to stop it. A celebration of her life took place last week and it was one of the most beautiful events I have ever attended. The service took place in a beautiful location overlooking the water. It was standing room only and  people shared stories about how Vanessa impacted their lives and became part of their story. It was overcast and drizzly but we could all feel her light in that room.

I'm blessed to be part of her story and that she has become part of mine. Our girls share a sweet bond that I hope continues to grow over time. They love each other and I was so proud of Amelia last week for wanting to be with her friend. Amelia never left her side after the formal part of the celebration was over.

When we left the service, it was starting to rain and night was falling, Amelia sat quietly in the back of the car. As I tucked her into bed that night I asked her what she was thinking about in the car. She looked up at me and said "Mommy, you know Clara's mommy will always be with her and when Clara is sad I will hug her and make her happy." And I know that she will.

Today would have been her 33rd birthday. Her family had asked us to all think of her today and to spread kindness to honour her. Make today count. Make today better for someone else, share a smile, say hello, buy someone's coffee, ask someone how they are and take the time to be in the moment and present with them.

So Happy Birthday Ness! I know so many people will celebrate you again today and we will do our best to make ever day count.

February is starting off with a bang.

I just a mom, trying to live the life I want. That life includes so many things but taking care of myself is never high on my priority list. 

I did a really interesting personal development activity this week. I had to ask 3 people what my strengths and my weaknesses were. So naturally I asked 6 people- then I asked 2 more. I was shocked when their answers were almost exactly the same as my own answers.

My strength: I genuinely care about other people and want to help others I do like to help others. It makes me feel good to see other people succeed, get  a hand up and improve their own wellbeing.  

My weakness: I put myself last and don't take care of myself often enough. I also got one "You never quit, it might take you awhile but you don't give up easy". Both of these statements are also true. Here I am almost 3 years into this coaching thing and I'm still going. I haven't quit because others are depending on me. But those people are also keeping me accountable and driving me to get over each and every obstacle that is in my way to reach my goals.

Self care is so important and, now that I have actually gotten some true sleep for the first time in about 5 years, I'm seeing how I NEED to practice what I preach and I need to take care of myself in order to help others.

So far in January I've crossed 2 things off my 2017 list of goals:

• Committed to and finish a full 4 week program- Week 4 of Piyo is almost done!
• Replenished our emergency account

I feel so much better! I'm down 4lbs (after months of gaining and then a major plateau this is HUGE for me), I am eating better, Piyo has been great for strengthening my foot and leg following that injury and I'm not super stressed and worrying about being able to deal with a financial emergency.  I feel ready to face February!

My BEautiful YOU challenge group has rocked January and I am so proud to have been able to help that group and now to be getting ready for my February group. This year I want to help even more people so I want you to ask yourself:

1. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Yeah well me neither!

2. Do you currently LOVE the body you are in? Working on it- I grew two babies with this body and I refuse to disrespect this body any longer.

3. Are you living the best possible life you could be right now? Nope but I'm on a path to get there!

4. Are you happy with your health and fitness right now? No.

5. Are you ready to MAKE A CHANGE!? YES!

**If you answered NO to questions 1-4 and YES to questions 5----I am ready to help you do this!

This is a journey and it isn't easy but it can be fun and it will change you. Contact me today if you are ready to get serious about creating a happier life.

New Year, New Me? Not quite

If you follow this blog (and thank you if you are still around) you'll have noticed consistency isn't my strong suit. My children have consistency, my husband has consistency- it's just that in managing to create consistency for everyone else,  my needs and efforts to be consistent with the things for me end up taking second place.

For the past 8 years and some odd months I have been taking care of other people. I take care of my children and my husband. I take care of the people I work with (comes with the territory of being an assistant). Sure I make efforts to take care of myself and for some periods I succeeded in taking good care of myself but I've NEVER made myself a priority. There has always been a tiny human who needed me, my family needing me, making sacrifices in my career to better meet the needs of my family, making sacrifices with my friends to meet the needs of my tiny humans, sacrificing my time to meet the needs of my employer, etc.....

In short there is a whole lot of sacrificing going on.

Not be sound like a martyr, there are many benefits to those sacrifices- happy, healthy kids, improved financial situation for my family, happy husband, happy friends, happy challengers...

Something occurred this weekend that made me really rethink this whole giving my all for everyone thing. It was a small thing but I felt really hurt by it, because I was doing my best to make everyone happy and still not miss out on something I wanted to be at. And I missed out despite stretching myself as thin as possible because another person didn't show me the same kind of consideration  that I have shown them time and time again. It made me think- while some sacrificing is worth it but maybe it's more than time for me to reclaim some respect and consideration for my needs.

I'm calling uncle on my whole situation. My cup is empty and it is totally impacting how I am able to care for my family. They are the one who suffer the most when the well is dry. Even the small deposits of love and adoration from the tiny humans aren't making their usual impact. 

People are depending on me. My family, my coworkers, my challengers, my customers. I am no good to anyone if I have nothing to give. So what is a mom to do?  The answer is quite simple in theory, harder in follow through:

1) Show myself some grace

2) Make a plan for change

3) Put the plan into action

The hardest of these three things is probably #1. I'm not good at showing myself grace. I'm hard on myself because I expect so much of myself. But I also expect so much of myself because I constantly fall into the trap of comparing myself to others. Sound familiar? Your life's journey is your own and while Top Coach's life looks perfect on social media I can assure you it isn't- now to just remember that when I'm falling into the comparison trap!

I'm great at making plans- follow through on plans for myself is the hard part. There are a few things in my life that I'm not happy about (that's a post for another day), so I'm focusing on one aspect at a time. I need to learn to ask for help, and ask for my needs to be put on the list. Morning workouts are a struggle. My workout needs to happen at night. That means the family routine is going to have to change- and I need to make peace with that. As a family, we'll need to look at the routine and make a change to ensure that I get 25 minutes to workout before 9pm.

Small steps will lead to bigger changes. 

Small steps will fill the cup. Filling the cup means everyone benefits.

Pop the bubbly bridal shower

When my sister told me she was getting married I got a little excited. In fact I'm pretty sure the words weren't out of her mouth and I had a wedding planner, some magazines and a book sent to her within 48 hours.

Maybe it was the connection on the phone but I'm pretty sure she said "Hey Lisa how would you like to be my maid of honor and throw me the most kick ass bridal shower evah?" I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she said... or it could have been "OMG!! Jordan asked me to marry him!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!".

Planning was well underway- at least by me. She was busy finishing her undergraduate degree and I had to give her that time and space to get that done. Her graduation party was a little outlet but once she got home and settled in her new job I had permission to start pushing encouraging her to get the event planned.

We picked a date for the bridal shower and I got to work. After bouncing a few ideas around,we settled on Brunch and Bubbly- because mimosas!

A lot of work went into creating a really fabulous event and I want to share all the details with you- so I'm breaking this up!

Event planning basics: There are a few simple steps that will help you host a well organized event- the less stress the better.  I don't have a pretty printable but hopefully you will find these helpful:

• Pick a date- the day of the week and time of day that works best for your guest of honor will dictate what type of event you have. I was coming from out of town, as were a bunch of my sister's friends so a weekend was going to be a necessity.
• Pick a theme- based on the time of day you can build pretty much any theme you want! I wanted something that reflected my sister's transition into adulting so a bruch seemed like a good idea, not too early, a little booze and the rest of the day was open for adventuring- or naps.
• Decide on a budget- you can do a lot with a little if you are willing to make a lot by hand and/or by asking people to contribute their talents. While I did DIYed a lot for this party, I had a few aunts bring their trademark dishes, a friend of my sister's took the pictures and a couple of friends helped pull it all together on site. I had some expenses but not as much as if I had had it catered, bought all the decore, hired a photographer and used an event coordinator.
• Make a plan!!! The single most important element to a low stress fabulous event is to have a plan. Take the date of the party and work backwards- from set up the night before all the way back to the date the invites need to be printed/designed for snail mail or email.

Once the date of the shower was set I got to work on the invitations. They were going to be paper and pretty! I used Vistaprint to design the invite and waited for them to have a good sale before I ordered them. Janice was awesome about wanting the shower to be classy and a little off theme from the actual wedding, so we went with pink and gold. I also ordered coordinating thank you notes for the bride to send out after the shower.

And you know the envelope had to be pretty! I used my silhouette to address the envelopes and I loved how they turned out! I used the metallic silhouette pens and then filled the names in by hand. Apparently there are tutorials to show you how to do this with the machine but I didn't bother trying to figure it out.I wanted to include the flower on all of the invites but it was taking a long time to individually create each envelope. Instead, I used the flower on invitations for the mothers, grandmothers and bridal party.

Next up- party decorations!

Are you there blog? It's me, Lisa.

Well hello blog! How are you? Did you miss me?

It's been awhile. I had the most fabulous wedding to plan and I got so wrapped up in creating the perfect celebration for my sister that, while I wanted to write I just didn't make the time. There was always "just one more detail" to take care of. The wedding was epic and wonderful in case you are wondering, but you'll hear all about it soon enough!

August we were all sick. I mean two trips to the ER in two consecutive days sick.  And then I created these back to school boards and that blew up into so much crafting! Another wedding right after school started and then hockey season.

So blog, you can see how you fell off the radar. It wasn't personal, it was life.

But I'm back and ready to share it all! If you have a bridal shower to throw- stay tuned! I've got you covered!

A wedding cake to make- yes you can do it and it can be awesome!

I'm ready to pick up and get going! The blog is getting a makeover too and I was going to wait until that was done to relaunch but it is taking forever and I just don't want to wait any more.

So welcome back. Hang onto your hat! Things are about to get creative!

FREE 5 Day Clean Eating Challenge

What is clean eating?

Many of you may not be sure what Clean Eating really means.  With all the fitness and nutrition buzzwords out there, it can definitely be confusing.  Most people agree that Clean Eating at its most basic definition means eliminating processed foods, additives, preservatives and artificial sugars from their diet.  Basically, you’re eating whole, unrefined foods.  Since you’re avoiding anything that has been altered in any way, your diet will be filled with whole grains, fruits, veggies and other wholesome, nutritious foods.   Since 70-80% of your fitness results come from the foods you eat, clean eating is a crucial part of your success. Plus it just makes you feel better!

JOIN IN!

My NEXT Clean Eating Challenge Group starts on February 29, 2016!
I provide:

• 5 day meal plan

• Recipes

• Shopping list

• Daily motivation and fitness tips

• Optional purchase at cost: 5 day supply of Shakeology

I only have TWO requirements for joining the FREE 5-Day Clean Eating Challenge:
1)      The first is participation.  No lurking allowed!  You must participate in the daily check-ins and assignments. The time required is minimal, but follow-through is mandatory.
2)      I’m game to help everyone but if you already have a coach (or are a coach) please let me know up front.
Comment below by February 25 to join this challenge!

The Cat's Tummy: Urban Farm Girl Guest Post

I love cats, like love love love them! 

I could easily see myself as a happy cat lady. Sitting in my rocking chair blissfully surrounded by felines. Big cats, little cats, fat cats and thin cats, black cats, white cats, orange cats and grey cats. Striped cats, spotted cats, solid cats and patchy cats. Cats with long fur and short fur, fluffy fur and sleek fur, even a few with extra toes, they are so adorable. As you can see, this love for cats could easily become a problem. But do not fear, I also have other loves in my life,  my amazing children, who also love cats , my dog Stella who happens to be a huge cat fan and my husband.....Drew....Did you notice how I did not mention his enjoyment of our furry feline friends? Ahhhh, you see where I'm going, yes? Without my husbands hard fast rules we could very well be living the dream of owning a clowder of cats. (Just imagine the hours of fun!)  

My husband's rules are as follows:

1. You may not eat nutella as a meal replacement 
2. You may not allow wild animals in the house even if they are adorable and you can hand feed them on the deck 
3. You may not own a clowder of cats. 

And because my loving husband pays the bills  and because he's a pretty good guy, I abide by his ridiculous rules and spend too much time at the local shelter patting their clowder. 
Which brings me to my point, or at least a big closer. You see, the last visit I made to the shelter I noticed this cat, a real BEAUT!  I could see this cat was a bit older, a little rough around the edges and pleasantly plump. Yet still a-dor-a- ble! This cat seemed somehow familiar. It reminded of someone, really,really  reminded me of someone.  I moved from cage to cage talking to each kitty, patting the ones who would let me. But I couldn't quite shake the feeling.  I sat myself on the fur covered lawn chair next to the window and cuddled a little black and white cat who jumped on my lap. Did she look like a cat from my childhood? A neighbour's cat perhaps?  One of the cats we had fostered?  The familiar cat got up from her basket stretched, turned around a few times and laid back down.  I noticed that the cat's stomach hung almost to the floor, poor little dear. It jiggled and wiggled and sagged. How on earth did that happen? You'd think they'd give the poor soul a little lift when they fixed her, I mean they were in there anyway. 

Then the flashback started. It was like something out of a horror film, eerie music played in my head.  Pictures from the present and past flashing through my mind. The cat in the basket and me, naked, in the bathroom mirror bending over to shave my legs. My God! We had the same stomach. Oh the horror!!!! I couldn't breath. That cat and I had the same horrible affliction! At least it has a reason for its sag- it had probably given birth to hundreds of kittens while living on the streets. What was my excuse?  2 kids?  Ha 

Source

I went home that day and took a long hard look in the mirror and even followed rule number one. Then I decided, although that cat was amazingly adorable, I didn't want to someday trip over my stomach. So I got on the treadmill and will continue to do so for a good long time. I have no goal or expectation of a flat stomach and Autumn Calabrese abs but I have made myself a promise. I will do my best to work toward not looking like the cat who mothered a clowder.



NOTE: Emily has is an active member of my February challenge group and has already lost 13lbs! I am so proud of her! If you want to join us just comment below and I'll get back to you asap :)

She is a mother of two children and 2 fur babies. Her family recently transplanted from Nova Scotia to New Brunswick where she finds herself looking for a new career. She spends her time volunteering at her children's school and the SPCA. Her husband searches the house daily in an effort to uncover any animals smuggled in after her shifts.

Live your daydream

I have a dream and a vision to love my life and make an amazing life for my family.

I want to live my daydream! I want to spend more time with my kids, support and encourage others and reach my fitness goals and I am well on my way.

It is not easy! I've hit every roadblock there is. I've had setbacks and success. I've had two babies, weight gain as a side effect of medication for low milk supply, postpartum depression and anxiety. I battle anxiety on a daily basis but I am so much stronger now physically and emotionally that the battle isn't all consuming. My coach has never given up on me and has inspired me to keep going through all over my setbacks and has shown me how to celebrate the good in my life (without turning to food). 

As a personal fitness coach, I am able to help so many people change their lives and get healthy!  It brings me so much joy to encourage others on this journey. My challengers and teammate can relate to me because the struggle to find balance in this crazy, fast, convenience based world is real.I have learned so much over the last 2 years and I want to share it with others!  I love exercising, eating clean and finding ways to recreate our family's not so healthy favorites.

I'd love for you to join me on this path. Let me help you make it happen :) Drop me a line at

boutilierbabblings@gmail.com.

Check back for updates on my fitness journey!

-