The Quiet Changes in a Chair

Monday, July 30, 2012

It's a warm summer evening and as I sat in Amelia's room watching her settle into sleep I can't help but think of how much has changed since the first time a rocked a baby in this very chair.

Austin needed to be rocked. And I remember spending hours rocking him in the wee hours of the morning, falling sleep in the rocker and waking up much later with a sleeping baby cuddled in my arms and a sore neck. I sat and rocked for hours and hours and sang to my boy, breathing in his sweet baby smell.

Just over a year ago, Amelia's colic started and I spent so much time walking my little around the house and in the neighbourhood to keep her calm. While the rocking chair would do when I just couldn't stand any more, it was not her favorite place. Constant motion and bouncing was what she craved, what she needed to settle her down. I walked and walked, inhaling the sweet smell of the top of her head while her crazy hair stood on end, singing folk songs, old and new favorites and, for some reason, the Ode to Newfoundland. Something about that song soothed her, and her cries would soften and sometimes, if I was really lucky, they would stop all together and Amelia would finally drift off to sleep.

Amelia now sleeps in the very same crib that Austin did and every now and then I get to rock her in in same rocker that I rocked Austin. And now the hours of walking and rocking have been replaced with bubbles and baths, stories and nights of sweet dreams. And while we still have the occasional midnight wakening, our nights are mostly quiet and I find myself missing the rocking and walking. I wished away some of those moments, when sleep had eluded me for far too long and the cries tore at my heart. And now when the curtains are closed and the littles are asleep I remember those nights that were not so silent and actually wish for those moments that I rushed through back. Crazy I know...

In just a few months, the same rocker will find a new home and rock my cousin's new little and give a tired mama a resting place to nurse, cuddle and soothe. I'm so thrilled for my dear friend. I would never have made it through the sleepless days with Austin (or some days managed a shower) without her time. Andrea sat in my hospital room with me the day after Amelia was born and stayed for hours snuggling my baby, knowing I needed her there. Knowing that the same chair that rocked Austin and that gave Amelia motion and my weary feet a rest will rock their cousin makes me happy.

Rock on baby, rock on...

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