I could actually hear the crickets this week.
The house was so quiet. At night there were no little feet hitting the walls, no one coughing or tossing and turning. It was still. And I loved it. I loved sleeping through the night and only having to get myself ready and out the door in the morning. I also hated it. There were no little feet hitting the walls, no one coughing or tossing and turning. No little girl pattering into my bed at night and wrapping her little arms around my neck saying “I love you SOOO much” before cuddling in and resting her head on my arm and squeezing me tight.
My house is spotless. And not just the quick “lets tidy before company comes” type of clean but a real “this is how clean our house was before kids and I would apologize for the nonexistent mess” type of clean. I discovered that when the house is so clean little things that don’t bother normally bother me in my day to day life are irritating to no end. Seriously...why is it that when the dishwasher has dirty dishes in it dirty dishes still end up on a counter or in the sink? Is it a guy thing? I took a poll at work and its common...do you know why it doesn’t usually bother me? Because there always seem to be dishes in my sink and the dishwasher is running every day. I ran the dishwasher once this past week.
I only ran the dishwasher once this week. There wasn’t an endless parade of cups, or dirty plates because mommy put supper on the wrong plate (yeah that is over....). But that also meant there wasn’t any little giggles or made up Lego adventure stories at the breakfast bar or Ozzy helping me in the kitchen in a way that only he can.
We watched adult shows when we wanted (Orange is the New Black at 9am on a Saturday- sure! Why not?!), went out when we pleased and I worked out without little people under foot. I enjoyed it, but I missed them. I missed my workout buddies who get underfoot and taking the kids with us on adventures. I didn't miss the kids shows (but that could be because G watched transformer cartoons the past couple of days).
And while I missed them terrible and feel guilty for enjoying out time alone, I also feel relaxed and rested. When we get home from Newfoundland our house is reset and ready to get into the routine that will come with back to school. I feel connected to my husband in a way that comes from having actual uninterrupted conversations.
I feel like we've actually been given the best gift. Our kids have spent a week with Nanny and Poppy and have been making amazing memories. It hurts that they can’t be with my family every day so for them to have uninterrupted time with their grandparents is amazing. Every night they have told us stories of the memories they have been making. And, while we have missed them, G and I have had a chance to cross things off our to do lists and spend real time together. And as tired and frustrated as I was I am renewed and ready to reinvest in my littles.
We completed so many projects! I can’t wait to share them with you!
G catching a last uninterrupted nap before we dock.
But right now I've got a ferry to will into port so I can grab my littles and squeeze them tight!