Friday weight in...or not....

Friday, February 19, 2010

I didn’t step on the scale today. I was scared. The concept of a grown woman being scared of numbers is a bit odd. It’s just a number, it shouldn’t mean anything but to me it means everything. I haven’t been eating great because we’re in event mode and pizza and muffins have been my staples for the last three days.

I need some serious image help. Seriously, I see women who are way bigger than I am and I can’t help but think that I look like them. I still fit into regular clothes and a large top but still, I look in the mirror and I see a blob. I know it isn’t really what is being reflected, but I just can’t seem to see through it. I haven’t weighed this much (not pregnant) in close to ten years. It’s really hard to be back in this place. Some days I just take the easy way out and give up the good fight and other days I really focus on it and try to change everything all at once. Not working for me at this stage….

I hate falling off the wagon and getting back on. It’s a constant struggle and today I am struggling and not finding much resolve…

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