Getting ready for difficult days...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

On Thursday afternoon Gordon's beautiful grandmother passed away. She was 97 years young and, thankfully, did not suffer a long illness. Tomorrow is the visitation and the funeral will be on Monday.

It's hard for me to explain how I am feeling right now. Leah was an amazing person and she will be dearly missed. I keep thinking about how lucky I am to still have all of my grandparents and I am not sure how I will handle it when one of them passes. I'm lucky enough to be close to three of my grandparents and I call them, send them pictures of Austin and visit with them when I am home. I love my visits with them. They fall all over Austin as he shows off his extreme cuteness and then they tell stories of when I was a little girl or when my mom and Dad were younger. It's fun to sit there and take it all in...I look forward to those moments and I don't want to think about not having more of them.

I have been a member of the Boutilier family for 7 years now...I can't believe it has been so long! My first big Boutilier family event was Leah's 90th birthday. I'll never forget walking into the Kinsmen club, just down the street from where we live now, and meeting all of G's family. I finally understood how poor G felt when I dragged him to NL for the first time!!! I had met Leah twice before the event and when we walked up to wish her a happy birthday she looked right at me and said "Well isn't it nice that you are still around." I wasn't sure if that was a compliment but I took it as one.

Fast forward to 2007. We went to Nan Boutilier's 95th birthday party at the nursing home. Leah wasted no time mincing words when we arrived. "Are you pregnant yet?" I was a little taken a back to say the least. G and I had only recently made the decision to start trying for a family and hadn't shared that with anyone. When I told her that no we weren't expecting yet, Leah looked right at me and said "What's wrong with you? Get on with it already." G and I had to laugh because only Leah would come right out and demand a Great-Grandbaby!

It makes me sad that Austin won't have any memories of his Great Nan Boutilier. We will share stories and pictures with his as he grows so that he'll know who she was but that just isn't the same as sitting on her knee listening to her tell stories about when G was a little boy.

I hate funeral homes with a passion. They are so sad and depressing. I don't expect ballons and a party but I really feel like we should be celebrating life and not just morning our loss. I also hate the open casket thing. It is really creepy to see someone all laid out like that. When my great grandmother passed away I remember looking at her in the casket and thinking that she looked fake. Same thing when my uncle Cyril passed. Open caskets freak me out!

Leah lived as exceptional life and while we are all sad that she is gone, I don't think we should lose sight of the joy that she brought to us all. We will miss you Nan.

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