Friday, March 26, 2010

The great stay at home mom debate

The past two days my sitter has been closed and I have gotten to work from home. It's amazing how much work I can actually get done with a toddler sitting in my lap. We started off yesterday morning with a playdate at the ice cream church with Clare and Mark. Austin had a blast and it was a lot of fun to hang out with Emily. After lunch Austin refused to nap so I tried to figure out a way to get my work done. Playhouse Disney is my friend! Austin watched Mickey and Handy Manny and I sent emails and scheduled meetings.

Today the weather is miserable and so we're hanging out at home. Austin is napping at the moment and I have gotten a lot done....the only problem is that I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I can do to work from home and make at least my current salary. I like my job but I love being home with my son. He is such a great kid and I realize how much I am missing. He is so clever and he is learning new words everyday. I love just cuddling up and reading a book with him. He really loves singing songs and dancing right now too. We've been having repeat performances of Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes!

Being home brings me back to being on maternity leave and being here for each and every moment. I need to work. There is no way around that one but my gosh I would like to stay home. I dream of winning the lottery and I am constantly thinking of things that I could do that would allow me to work from home...although...maybe I could bring Monkey to work with me! I'll set up a play space in my office and he can come to meetings with me and liven things up! A daycare at the Health Centre would be nice and then I could see him whenever I wanted during the day....

Being a working mom is a struggle. I am constantly divided between working and wanting to be with Austin. When I go to work I try to focus on what I am doing and not think about what Austin is doing and then to make up for it I go a little overboard on spending time with him and doing fun things when we all get home at the end of the day. By the time he goes to bed at 8:30pm I am exhausted. It makes it really difficult to get my workouts in or to spend any real quality time with Gordon.

It's frustrating because I'm sure if I stayed home and took in kids I would be just as exhausted and the house just as neglected and I'm not sure that I would feel 100% happy with my decision to give up my job...

Not sure what the answer is...does anyone else?

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